After my first-ever bought with diverticulitis, I wanted to make notes about what happened over the last five days.
On April 7, 2015, I woke up at 3:30am with pain and discomfort in my lower-left abdomen. I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what it was. It felt like a golf ball was lodged in there, and several hours later it was still there.
“I’m going to have to resect the colon.”
Thanks to diverticula, diverticulosis, and diverticulitis, in 2018 I had to have a colectomy surgery, which is also known as a colon resection. This page is a diary of my colectomy experience.
I had two bouts of diverticulitis in the lower-left portion of my abdomen, once in 2015 and again late in 2017. After the second bout in 2017 the pain never went away completely, and would get significantly worse if I tried to eat normal, high-fiber foods like cereal, wheat bread, broccoli, etc.
Yesterday I watched the very emotional music video for the Elton John song, Tiny Dancer, and afterwards I wanted to do some research on how the music video was created, the story behind it, and what its meaning is. To that end, here’s a summary of what I found out about the “Tiny Dancer” music video.
The short story behind the Tiny Dancer song goes like this:
I recently started reading the “spiritual classic” book, I Am That, by Nisargadatta Maharaj. The book is rated 4.8 stars on Amazon and 4.4 on Goodreads, so that’s pretty impressive.
After reading the first 100 pages or so, I’m glad to report personally that there isn’t anything significantly new here for me. Even though I never saw Ram Dass refer to Nisargadatta Maharaj, the words in this book are remarkably similar to those in Ram Dass’s best books, which I have already written about. That is, the words are a little different, but all of the concepts are the same, and they are consistent with what I know about meditation.
the small man
builds cages for everyone
he
knows,
while the sage,
who has to duck his head
when the moon is low,
keeps dropping keys all night long
for
the
beautiful
rowdy
prisoners.
~ an old Persian named Hafez
I’ve always wondered about the meaning of the song Levon, as performed by Elton John, with lyrics written by Bernie Taupin. After researching this for a while, this is what I’ve been able to find out about the meaning of Levon.
The best information I’ve found comes from the songfacts website. There, one contributor states the following:
Here’s an old mug/tumbler from the Sundance Club in College Station, Texas, circa 1985 or so. If you happened to go to school at Texas A&M back then, you may recall the Sundance Club, which was in the Hilton Hotel.
In my earlier posts on the best Ram Dass book to start with and the best Ram Dass books I know, I didn’t mention his book, Grist for the Mill.
Since I forgot to mention it, today I’d like to note a few things about it. First, I think it’s a really good book, it’s just not the first Ram Dass book I’d recommend.
US Magazine has a little story on the separation of Coldplay singer Christ Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, and it includes this quote about Rumi’s The Guest House and a book called Man’s Search for Meaning (by Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl) that I read almost thirty years ago. (I don’t know too many Coldplay songs, but I do like Clocks.)
The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere;
They are in each other all along.
~ Rumi
Listen with ears of tolerance.
See through the eyes of compassion.
Speak with the language of love.
~ Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought,
the shame,
the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
~ The Guest House, by Rumi
My religion is love.
Love is the bridge between you and everything.
Let the beauty of what you love be what you do.
Be a witness, not a judge.
I am not this hair, I am not this skin, I am the soul that lives within.
Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.
You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens.
Past and future veil God from our sight; burn up both of them with fire.
~ Rumi
April 15, 2024: A nice thing about Ezoic is that people from the company keep reaching out to see if I’m happy with Ezoic, and if I want any more information about their tools. I don’t think I ever had an email with anyone from Google AdSense, so this is a nice change.
March 27, 2024: I just received my first payment from Ezoic, so that’s cool.
March 16, 2024: As a brief note today, I recently started using Ezoic for the ads on this website, and so far my revenue is much greater than it was with Google AdSense. My ad revenue has increased at least 50%, and probably more than that.
For a long time I was afraid to switch to another company besides AdSense because I had not heard of Ezoic and others, but after several weeks on their platform, all is well.
I should also say that I was very busy, and I thought that “making the switch” might take a while, but if you have existing AdSense and Analytics accounts, it doesn’t seem to take too long. The actual time I spent on a computer to make the changes was probably about 4-8 hours overall, but in calendar time it took a few days because of the AdSense and Analytics integration (waiting), and a few other configuration things I had to wait for. (So, several days in calendar time, but 4-8 hours in actual time.)
It’s also important to note that Ezoic is an AdSense partner, which I discuss more below.
“Have you got any cookies?”
~ Frank Burns, in M*A*S*H
Dear diary,
Annihilation of the ego continues to make progress, at least during sleeping hours. In recent nights I’ve gained awareness during the dream state to find “myself” as animals, women, and other men.
Last night I gained awareness as an older black man, talking to other black men about some of the discrimination and injustices we’ve gone through in our lives. We can laugh a little amongst ourselves about them now, but I could feel that under the laughter there’s also a deep sadness and pain.
Lately each nightly occurrence ends the same way: Eventually there’s a realization that “I” am supposed to be “Al,” and that realization startles me, pulls me from the scene, and wakes me.
Yours truly,
The Hopefully-Disappearing Self
P.S. — I don’t know if it’s more correct to say “black man,” “African-American,” or something else. To be clear, if it wasn’t important to the story I would not mention it at all.
Some day I might write a book called, Random Conversations with Strangers While Aimlessly Wandering Around, and it will include stories like this:
Many years ago I walked into a favorite bakery in Alaska. Nobody was there, no customers or employees, so I took a few minutes to look over the cookies and donuts to decide what I wanted.
Finally a young woman came out of the back room. I knew from previous donut/cookie runs that she was born in Ohio, moved here about five years ago, was nineteen years old, and would be twenty in a few months. As she brought out a tray of something new, she said, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in.”
I replied it was no problem, it gave me a chance to think about what I wanted. We chatted for another minute or two and then she looked around and said, “Can I be honest with you?”
Ram Dass FAQ: What is the best Ram Dass book to start with?
I wrote this in my earlier blog post, What Are The Best Books By Ram Dass, but I believe the best book you can start with is Polishing The Mirror.
I think this book is the best summary of all his work. It’s a relatively short book, it’s clearly written, and summarizes much of what you’ll read in his other books. I started reading this when I was in the hospital, and as bad as I was feeling at the time, it just blew me away. I like to underline and highlight text, and I felt like I could highlight most of the book.
A funny moment from the tv series Life: “Did he ever have a head injury?”
A good line from a good movie.
