friends

A Christmas Story

[From time to time I write little stories that have nothing to do with programming or technology; this is one of those stories. So, if you’re only here for the technology stuff, you’ll want to skip this one.]

I’m standing in the kitchen of a friend’s house at a Christmas party, making myself a drink while talking to a friend named Angie. This was nothing unusual; she and I were always talking about something. We became friends during our last year in high school, and we’ve been talking every since.

In retrospect it’s obvious that I have feelings for her, but I guess you could say that I didn’t appreciate her back then. After high school my ambition took me away to college, and then to a series of jobs in different states. By the time I decided to move back home, she was married and had two young children.

While we talked all the time, this kitchen conversation was unusual. I don’t remember how it started, but Angie did ask me about something I rarely talk about: my parents getting divorced in high school.

Facebook deleted the “Lists (of friends)” link alvin December 1, 2019 - 12:22pm

When I use Facebook, I like to use lists to group people that I know, friends, relatives, people from different states, etc. But on Thanksgiving, or maybe the day before, Facebook deleted the “Lists” link from their web app. It used to be with this group of links. I don’t use their app on my phone, so it’s pretty crazy that they removed this.

So, dear friends, if I don’t see and like your stuff, it’s not my fault. I’m sure not going to type in the name of each friend to see if they posted anything.

People who will talk about the universe

Back in 2014 my family took a vacation together. We spent thousands of dollars doing all sorts of different things, but in the end, my favorite part was sitting on a couch one evening in Santa Fe with my niece and watching cooking shows. In small part this was because my sisters were angry with each other, and it was nice to get away from that tension and just relax with a nice person who had no agenda.

When I saw this image last night it reminded me not of the negatives of that vacation, but of the positives of spending time with people who have no agendas other than the wonder of the universe, and of how I’d like to spend the time I have here on Earth.

Fluffer

Season 2, Episode 3 of New Girl is titled “Fluffer,” and without getting into the details, it reminds me that I ended two friendships for the same “fluffer” reason, I just didn’t know there was a name for it.

First nightmare in many years

Had my first nightmare in many years, and woke up crying. I had just been told that one of my favorite people on Earth had died, and I was being told over the phone how it happened.

The short story is that there had been a bad storm, and trees and power lines were down. Two friends were driving on Bardstown Road, and they were side-swiped by a yellow car that presumably kept going (as a hit-and-run). Nobody was hurt at that point, but the two people got out of the vehicle to inspect the damage to their car, and that’s when the death occurred.

I don’t know how it happened, because in my dream I was starting to lose the phone connection, but I assume they were hit after they got out of the vehicle.

“But I know you”

Some time ago I was at a party, and there was a woman there that I didn’t know, but I felt like I knew her. It was a strange feeling, kind of like deja vu, but it had nothing to do with this party, just the feeling that I knew this woman. Maybe I had seen somewhere before, but I couldn’t place it.

When that thought first came to me I was talking to some other people, so I shrugged it off for the time being. It was relatively early and I figured we’d meet soon enough. A little while later a trash can became full, so I took the bag out of the can and walked it to a garbage can outside by the detached garage. After I put the bag in the can outside I turned around, only to be startled to see the woman standing there.

“How do I know you,” she asked.

Things that go unsaid between friends

I woke up at 4:30am on Friday with the idea for a story that I’ve currently titled, The Soul Game, which I hope to release next week. Lucid dreams being what they are, I came up with the first draft while I was sleeping, and then put it down on paper after I woke up. Working on that story leads me to write the following today:

Sometimes in life you meet another person, and as you get to know them you find that they’re incredibly awesome, but ... they’re also married. This has happened a couple of times in my life, to differing degrees. I always find that I don’t want to do anything to interfere with that person’s marriage, but part of me wants to say, “In case you didn’t know it, I think you’re pretty awesome, one of a kind.”

As a practical matter saying things like that tends to create problems, so I haven’t said it to anyone in a long time. (The last time I said it to anyone we ended up making out in a parking lot.) Instead, I hope that other people know that I think they’re awesome because I choose to spend my time with them. In this way the sad part is that things go unsaid, but I hope the other person knows what I think because I laugh and enjoy myself when I’m with them, and we have great conversations.

All of which today makes me think of the Gloria Estefan song, Words Get In The Way, and the Olivia Newton-John song, I Honestly Love You.

I never did get that cup of coffee

Last year Friend #1 died, so I ended up staying at Friend #2’s house. When I woke up she was already out of the house, so I started to walk to the coffee maker to make some coffee. At that moment Friend #3 called. I looked at the coffee maker for a moment, then thought, “It will wait a few moments,” so I turned around, picked up the phone, and found a quiet spot to sit down.

At one point I started talking about something and #3 said, “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you.” I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I just woke up, so I kinda cleared my throat and started talking louder. We had a good, honest conversation, the kind you only have when it’s late at night and people are tired and maybe have a little liquid courage and speak from the heart, or in this case that raw time right after someone has died.

When I was watching a show just now with two dead guys talking to each other I remembered that conversation, and also remembered that I never did get that cup of coffee.

Two thoughts of the day

Two thoughts of the day:

Nobody owes you anything. I’m often surprised to hear people tell stories about how they’re butthurt because they feel like someone owes them something. (Typically they think friends and family members should owe them something.)

The only time you really lose is when you don’t try. A lot of people have interesting ideas, but never do anything with them. I think I lost nine games as a baseball pitcher in high school, but I won a lot more games than that, and it would have been a much bigger loss if I thought, “Gosh, I could be a great pitcher if only someone gave me a chance.”