This is a great quote from my favorite book on spirituality about trying to change other people.
For many years I’ve dreamt of a basement with secret walls and hidden compartments. The basement is underneath a store, and I always assumed that someone lived in the hidden compartments, but I could never find who it was that lived down there, or find all of the compartments.
With my newfound ability to stay conscious most of the night I found all of the compartments this morning, and I was stunned to learn that dozens of people lived in them. I was further surprised that I “knew” most of the people from previous dreams.
At first a few of them tried to kill me. One of them stabbed me with a syringe of some sort. That knocked me down pretty good, and under normal circumstances I might have gone back to sleep, but a few people, including an advanced yoga instructor I met several years ago, helped me recover. When everyone learned that I wouldn't/couldn’t die, they gave up.
“I can’t stand when someone treats you like crap and then they act like the victim. Noooo ... get the heck out of here with that B.S.”
A friend just shared a slightly more profane version of that on Facebook, and (sadly) I know exactly what she means.
One of the things you have to remember when working with human beings is that IQ is not the same as EQ, and they’re rarely equal. Some people have a horrible temper. One guy I know is smart, but he remains the biggest jerk I’ve ever met.
I remember hearing one time that when people are hurt in their childhood or teen years they stop developing emotionally at that point. So if they are somehow hurt when they are twelve years old, they can be thirty years old physically but only twelve emotionally. I don’t know if that’s 100% true, but it seems like it in some cases I know. (And the hard thing is that these people don’t know that they have these problems.)
It’s a bit of a riddle, but other people in your life have to be who they are so you can be(come) who you are.
Some people come into your life and even if they don't stay in it for long, they make an impact that changes you forever. Happy birthday to two people today (November 19th), one who made my life miserable, and another who made it wonderful.
Probably the most important lesson I learned from aimlessly wandering around for five years is that if you treat complete strangers as brothers and sisters that you’re meeting for the first time, the world magically becomes a better place.
“Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life. But that doesn't mean they can’t stay with you.”
“Adam is just special. He has that kind of makeup that is always trying to invest in other people.”
~ Cardinals’ manager Mike Matheny talking about Adam Wainwright
I’m reminded that people who “play the victim” say things like:
“You don’t know ...”
“Nobody knows ...”
and no matter what they did, they DON’T say:
I was just reminded of this when I heard the Elton John song, Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word.