nurse

Talking to nurses about pain

While laying in the hospital bed after my recent surgery, a young nurse came into my room and asked what my pain level was, on a range from zero to ten.

I replied that it wasn’t bad at all, maybe a one or two at most, and I didn’t need any pain medicine.

She said that was great. She said that a lot of people immediately say they’re at a nine or ten.

I replied that I’d never say anything that high, I always thought a nine or ten should be saved for something really bad, like if you were just stabbed or shot.

She said, “I know, right. Or maybe broken bones ... or a heart attack.” She paused and then said, “Lately I’ve been wondering if giving birth is a 9 or 10.”

My niece is raising money for children

If you’d like to donate some money to a worthy cause, my niece is studying to be a nurse, and she’s helping to raise money for sick and injured children. Here’s a blurb from that page:

“I'm on a mission to help sick and injured kids in my local community and I need your help. My local Children’s Miracle Network Hospital treats thousands of children each year, regardless of their illness, injury, or even their family’s ability to pay. These kids are facing scary stuff like cancer, cystic fibrosis, and injuries they may get from just being a kid.”

Any help is appreciated!

If I had a bat, I’d rage on this wall

Being an older person, I find young people interesting. One night when I was in the hospital last week I was supposed to be asleep, but couldn’t sleep, and I heard a nurse’s assistant who is still in college say, “If I had a bat, I’d rage on this wall.” That’s definitely not a phrase an older person would use.

My colectomy (colon resection) experience (recovery, diet)

“I’m going to have to resect the colon.”

~ pretty much every surgeon on M*A*S*H at some point

In late June, 2018, I had to have a colectomy surgery, which is also known as a colon resection. Here’s a diary of my experience.

Waking up in a hospital

I wake up at 3:40am, hearing something dripping. I follow the sound around the new apartment until I find that it’s coming from the refrigerator. Looking around, I don’t see any water on the floor, inside the refrigerator compartment, or in the freezer. My guess is that this is what it sounds like when it defrosts. I have a sip of water and go back to bed.

I wake up some time later. It’s bright, so I don’t want to open my eyes. I’m enjoying a comfortable rest, and the pillow and sheets smell fresh and clean.

Wait.

Why is it so bright? I haven’t been here long, but I know that the Sun rises on the other side of the building, and my bedroom only get indirect light in the morning.

Without moving my body, I open my eyes and look around. I see enough to know that I’m in a hospital.

Aren’t you forgetting something?

*leaving a doctor’s office*

Nurse: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Me (flashing back to past failed relationships): “I love you?”

Nurse: “Um, no, the papers you brought in.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, thanks.”