biopsy

“You have cancer” (a Thanksgiving-ish story)

A few people I’ve talked to recently who have (or had) cancer told me they can clearly remember the moment when their doctor told them that they had cancer.

In my case I do remember the conversation with the doctor, but that was more of a formality. When I picked up the phone to talk to her, I already had a pad of paper and a pencil in hand, and I was ready to write down the details she was going to tell me. Because in my case I was pretty certain that I had cancer when I saw the ultrasound results a few days earlier.

Fifty Shades of Mast Cell Activation Disease (MCAD/MCAS) alvin September 23, 2019 - 5:31pm

Notes from September 24, 2016:

Doctor: I’d like to collect a bone marrow sample ...

*Al runs out of the hospital in a hospital gown, screaming like a little girl*


(later, after they caught me)

Doctor: The next time you break out in a rash, hives, or blisters, I want you to have those biopsied.

Me: Is there going to be any part of our relationship that doesn’t involve a lot of pain on my part?

Doc: Yes, pee in this cup, and we’ll look at it under a fluorescent light to see if you have the same disease that King George III had.

Me: The crazy one?

Doc: Yes.

Me: Cool.

The biopsy of the tissue from your surgery shows that you have cancer, but ...

I’m still in that time period where the doctor said, “The biopsy of the tissue from your surgery shows that you have cancer, but I don’t think they’re right,” so we’re waiting on the results of a DNA test.

*waiting*

*taps fingers on desk*

La la la la ...

Medical records

After a while you both get used-to and tired-of seeing medical bills like this (a bill from my recent surgery).

It’s a little weird to think I left my appendix in Alabama, my gallbladder in Alaska, and my thyroid and now some additional parts in Colorado.