women

Is there anything else you'd like to ask me?

I guess I still don’t understand women.

This morning one of my doctors kept saying, “Is there anything else you’d like to ask me?”

After the third time she asked that question I thought, “I’ve seen this in the movies, I know what she’s really asking,” so I replied, “Do you want to come over and bake some cookies?”

Everything after that was a blur ... I think she said, “What?”, and then I think I said, “What??” ... now I don’t know if I need a new doctor or some cookie dough.

~ a Facebook post from July 15, 2014

Things that go unsaid between friends

I woke up at 4:30am on Friday with the idea for a story that I’ve currently titled, The Soul Game, which I hope to release next week. Lucid dreams being what they are, I came up with the first draft while I was sleeping, and then put it down on paper after I woke up. Working on that story leads me to write the following today:

Sometimes in life you meet another person, and as you get to know them you find that they’re incredibly awesome, but ... they’re also married. This has happened a couple of times in my life, to differing degrees. I always find that I don’t want to do anything to interfere with that person’s marriage, but part of me wants to say, “In case you didn’t know it, I think you’re pretty awesome, one of a kind.”

As a practical matter saying things like that tends to create problems, so I haven’t said it to anyone in a long time. (The last time I said it to anyone we ended up making out in a parking lot.) Instead, I hope that other people know that I think they’re awesome because I choose to spend my time with them. In this way the sad part is that things go unsaid, but I hope the other person knows what I think because I laugh and enjoy myself when I’m with them, and we have great conversations.

All of which today makes me think of the Gloria Estefan song, Words Get In The Way, and the Olivia Newton-John song, I Honestly Love You.

“But I know you”

Some time ago I was at a party, and there was a woman there that I didn’t know, but I felt like I knew her. It was a strange feeling, kind of like deja vu, but it had nothing to do with this party, just the feeling that I knew this woman. Maybe I had seen somewhere before, but I couldn’t place it.

When that thought first came to me I was talking to some other people, so I shrugged it off for the time being. It was relatively early and I figured we’d meet soon enough. A little while later a trash can became full, so I took the bag out of the can and walked it to a garbage can outside by the detached garage. After I put the bag in the can outside I turned around, only to be startled to see the woman standing there.

“How do I know you,” she asked.

Two women I wanted to have children with

Random thought of the morning: When I was young — maybe an early teenager at the oldest — I was talking to Sister #3 and said I wanted to have a baseball team worth of children. But then a few years later my dad got a woman who was not my mom pregnant, and my parents were divorced. Whatever notions I had about wanting a family and children were wiped out.

Part two of that random thought is that over the years I’ve been fortunate to meet a number of women (over 1,000 if you include school, work, and social events), and out of all those women there are only two who ever made me think, “I can see having children with this woman.”

“I’m trying to save my marriage”

A few days ago I ran into a woman who seemed very stressed out. I had a conversation with her that went like this:

Me: You seem to be feeling a lot of stress, may I ask why?

Her: Yada yada yada ... I’m trying to save my marriage! (Said loudly, with a lot of emotion.) (She starts crying.)

Me: Why?

Her: What?

Me: For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve said that you’re not happy, and now you seem very stressed out. So I’m wondering why you’re trying to save your marriage?

Her: ...

I thought it was a simple question — I thought she might say that she still loved the guy — but it turns out she had no answer for it.

She was crying, and tired of crying, so we talked about something else for a while. Then out of the blue she said, “I think I’m trying to save it because I always thought it was the right thing to do. Or maybe I never wanted to be divorced. But those aren’t very good reasons, are they? He really is a mean, selfish jerk, and he’s making my life miserable.”

A market for women’s pants with larger pockets

I’d been thinking about buying a large cellphone (phablet) recently, and every time I mentioned it to a woman, they immediately asked, “Do you know how small the pockets are in women’s pants?” That makes me think there’s a market for women’s pants with larger pockets.

“If she’s in it, she must be getting something out of it”

“If she’s in it, she must be getting something out of it.”

That’s a quote from a favorite tv series, Law & Order: Criminal Intent. It’s about women who stay in marriages when people outside of the marriage can’t understand why the woman stays married to the man.

In my own life I know a fair number of seemingly independent women who either appear to be unhappy, or openly say they’re unhappy, yet they stay married to the same guy ... something I still don’t understand.