*Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*
<p>all things funny and humorous</p>
Dr. Foreman: The kid was just taking his calculus exam when all of a sudden he got nauseous and disoriented.
Dr. House: That’s the way calculus presents.
“So you’re a glass half-empty kind of guy?”
“Depends what’s in the glass.”
I see this morning that people are referring to the proposed 2017 healthcare plan as the Republican Insurance Plan — R.I.P., for short.
Hi, my name’s Ray. I’ll be drawing your blood today as soon as I finish this Capri Sun.
*misses hole 4 times then punches straw through bag*
(Reminds me of a few people who have drawn my blood.)
Scotch neat, please.
Umm ... this is a Starbucks.
Okay ... a scotch “grande.”
A day late for Halloween, but still good for stats geeks.
How to act, by Steven Seagal. :)
Building Inspector: What do you call this place?
Darth Vader: The death—
[inspector’s eyes look up from his clipboard]
Darth Vader: Uh ... the health star.
All the news that’s fit to print ... and then a little more.