humor

The way calculus presents alvin March 28, 2019 - 8:31am

Dr. Foreman: The kid was just taking his calculus exam when all of a sudden he got nauseous and disoriented.

Dr. House: That’s the way calculus presents.

Help me Obi Wan Kenobi alvin March 24, 2019 - 7:56pm

Leia: Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.

Obi Wan: Sending thoughts and prayers.


When I saw this on Twitter it reminded me of two sayings I believe in: “Deeds, not words,” and “Hope is not a plan.”

Airplane slogan: Longer, larger, wait, what? alvin July 16, 2018 - 5:09am

Looks like this airplane company might want to rethink how they place their slogan on their airplanes.

I don’t mind straight people as long as they act gay in public alvin July 5, 2018 - 9:38am

A bumper sticker seen in Alaska on July 5, 2010: “I don’t mind straight people as long as they act gay in public.”

Paraprosdokians

From a recent email:

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.
 
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
more ...

Every young person’s worth nightmare

Mark Zuckerberg is now living out every young person’s worth nightmare: Trying to explain how tech stuff works to the nation’s elderly.

~ someone on twitter yesterday