“If somebody is a problem for you, it’s not that they should change, it’s that you need to change. If they’re a problem for themselves that’s their karma; if they’re causing you trouble that’s your problem with yourself.”
and also this:
“If I’m not appreciated, that’s your problem that you don’t appreciate me. Unless I need your love, then it’s my problem. So my needs are what is giving you the power over me.”
~ from Ram Dass post, A Heavy Curriculum
In my own experience I can say that when you’re with your soul this is true; and when you’re with your ego you can’t understand this.