personal

personal

Regression therapy: A childbirth experience (separation from a female entity)

A year or two ago I did some regression work, focusing on my childbirth. The overwhelming feeling I remembered was of a distinct separation from a female entity. For some reason I jumped to wondering, “Wow, did I have a twin sister that nobody told me about? Maybe she died during the birth process and nobody ever said anything.”

I hadn’t thought about this for a long time, and then this morning when I was wandering around the thought came to me, “You know, there was another female there that day ...”

#duh

MCAD: What an activated mast cell looks like

Somebody was like, “Let’s get a mast cell — a type of white blood cell — from a bone marrow biopsy, magnify it 1,000 times, piss it off, and see what happens.”

The result? Ka-boom! It looks like a little firework went off when it released its histamine, tryptase, serotonin, superoxide, heparin, thromboxane, PGD2, PAF, and other granules.

That’s pretty much what it feels like, lol. I used to tell doctors that it felt like I had been drugged, and indeed, I was.

(Image from this nih.org research paper.)

Tho’ much is taken, much abides

Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

~ Part of the poem Ulysses, by Lord Alfred Tennyson

(True story: In the process of writing my latest book, I had to make thirteen trips to the ERs (emergency departments, actually) of three different hospitals. So this poem has some meaning to me.)

There are planes where beings exist other than the physical ~ Ram Dass

“One way to handle extraordinary experiences is to be neither horrified not intrigued by them. In the course of meditation you may meet them all: powers, beauty, deaths, angels, demons, all of it. These are just forms, the stuff of the universe. You confront them on the path just as you meet all manner of people when walking on a busy street.

There are planes where beings exist other than the physical. If in meditation you enter other states of consciousness, you may meet such beings who seemingly come to instruct or guide you. Because of the uniqueness of these beings you might put more value on their teachings than is merited. Beings on other planes are not necessarily wiser than those on this plane. They may be well-meaning, but they may not know any more than you. All they may have to teach you is their existence itself, which shows you the relative nature of reality.

Just as with teachers on the physical plane, be open. Experience each being you meet and sense in your heart – do we have work to do together, or not? If that teacher feels relevant to your journey, work with him or her until you have fully grasped the teaching. Then thank the teacher and proceed.”

~ Ram Dass, Journey of Awakening: A Meditator's Guidebook

The mind can proceed only so far upon what it knows ~ Einstein alvin June 10, 2017 - 8:47pm

“The mind can proceed only so far upon what it knows and can prove. There comes a point where the mind takes a higher plane of knowledge, but can never prove how it got there. All great discoveries have involved such a leap.”

It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward

“And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.”

I enjoyed this quote from Rocky Balboa the first time I saw the movie, and I appreciate it even more now after getting my a** kicked by this blood disease but still plodding along every day.

Another dream where I am running on all fours alvin June 8, 2017 - 3:28pm

Had another dream this morning that I was running on all fours. Rather than ask myself, “Why in the world am I doing this?”, I now just accept that I’m a dog (or a cat, or some other animal) in the dream. That helps me go along with whatever is happening in the dream, rather than fight it and wake up.

(Notes from a dream on June 28, 2016)