<p>all things funny and humorous</p>

I’ll be drawing your blood today

Hi, my name’s Ray. I’ll be drawing your blood today as soon as I finish this Capri Sun.

*misses hole 4 times then punches straw through bag*

(Reminds me of a few people who have drawn my blood.)

The health star

Building Inspector: What do you call this place?

Darth Vader: The death—

[inspector’s eyes look up from his clipboard]

Darth Vader: Uh ... the health star.

God and Noah discussing parks and arks alvin September 17, 2016 - 4:30pm

God: You built a park? I asked for an ark. (From this twitter page.)

Stat of the Year: Kim Kardashian vs sharks alvin September 11, 2016 - 5:34pm

Stat of the Year: More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than were killed by sharks last year.