<p>all things funny and humorous</p>

The health star

Building Inspector: What do you call this place?

Darth Vader: The death—

[inspector’s eyes look up from his clipboard]

Darth Vader: Uh ... the health star.

God and Noah discussing parks and arks alvin September 17, 2016 - 4:30pm

God: You built a park? I asked for an ark. (From this twitter page.)

Stat of the Year: Kim Kardashian vs sharks alvin September 11, 2016 - 5:34pm

Stat of the Year: More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than were killed by sharks last year.

Ryan Lochte, do you have your homework? alvin September 9, 2016 - 8:59pm

[high school]

Teacher: Do you have your homework?

Ryan Lochte: I was murdered last night.

What’s your cell plan? alvin August 20, 2016 - 11:43am

HER: What’s your cell plan?

ME: Bodily decay over decades until inevitable mortal collapse. You?

HER: ... V-Verizon.