behavior

Every now and then a group of people assumes the traits and behaviors of sociopaths

This is a fun response from this Ask Polly Q&A:

“Your in-laws are next-level, off-the-charts batshit.

Every now and then, a group of people assumes the traits and behaviors of sociopaths. Maybe one person in the group completely and permanently lost their doughnuts several decades prior, and slowly, each member of the group learns that playing along with this singular menace is the only way to survive. Eventually, the members of the group are so utterly confused and gaslit by each other that they enforce the will of the group and nod along with bizarre opinions until they can’t even remember what it means to think logically or have free will or behave like other regular human beings on the face of the planet.

Because these people are confused and weak and angry — and because they’re rendered increasingly more confused, weak, and angry by their exposure to each other — they tend to have less and less contact with those outside the group. And when they do encounter someone who’s not in the fold, they recoil and attack. Anyone who questions the group is attacked with words and actions. Anyone who questions the group is bad, and the group is good.”

Every obnoxious act is a cry for help

Today a person did something that upset me. For a few moments it really bothered me and I thought, “Wow, this person is being a real jerk.” Then I remembered the phrase, “Every obnoxious act is a cry for help,” and I realized that this was this other person’s way of saying that they were hurting, and it helped me calm down in regards to them.

Pema Chodron and our “propensity” for certain behaviors

This quote/image about our “propensity” for certain behaviors comes from Pema Chodron’s book, Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change. Ms. Chodron oftens writes and speaks about “shenpa,” which I’ll describe as some combination of “things that trigger us,” along with how we react to those triggers.

This is a page from my book, “A Survival Guide for New Consultants”

You can’t always save the client

“When you can do nothing, what can you do?”

A Zen koan

As I’ve mentioned, you’re hired to be a consultant because you’re a problem-solver, so it really hurts when you can’t help a client. It’s a tough lesson, but it’s an important one:

Despite your best efforts,
you can’t always save the client.

How to add new behavior to closed classes in Scala (type classes)

This is an excerpt from the Scala Cookbook (partially modified for the internet). This is Recipe 19.7, “How to add new behavior to closed classes (models) in Scala (type classes).”

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Problem

You have a closed model, and want to add new behavior to certain types within that model, while potentially excluding that behavior from being added to other types.

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Solution

Implement your solution as a type class.

Table of Contents

  1. Problem
  2. Solution
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CakePHP naming conventions

CakePHP naming conventions FAQ: Can you share some examples of the CakePHP naming conventions, specifically the CakePHP model, view, and controller naming conventions?

As I get back into the CakePHP development world, I wanted to make a little CakePHP naming conventions reference page, showing examples of the standard CakePHP naming conventions for CakePHP model, view, and controller elements.

Refactoring - why some software changes are easy, others are hard

(From an email I sent to one of my clients regarding our software project.)

Last week we left the meeting with an open item to have [CUSTOMER_NAME] IT staff work w/ [DEVELOPER_NAME] to understand why some programming changes are easy, and some are not. More specifically, I think the question pertained to times when an application works one way in one part of the application, and then a user would like to see that same behavior in another part of the application. The question was something to the effect of "Why isn't this easy?"