My Indian name is “Runs With Beer” (Santa Fe, NM) alvin May 5, 2017 - 7:05am

My Indian name is “Runs With Beer.” (A t-shirt I found in Santa Fe, New Mexico.)

Magneto flapping his wrist frantically alvin April 3, 2017 - 6:02pm

*Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*

The way calculus presents alvin March 28, 2017 - 9:55am

Dr. Foreman: The kid was just taking his calculus exam when all of a sudden he got nauseous and disoriented.

Dr. House: That’s the way calculus presents.

Math for Dummies alvin March 17, 2017 - 10:07am

From :)

Zen koan: It would be better if you died alvin February 3, 2017 - 9:50am

Zen koans often turn into humorous Abbott & Costello skits. For those new to Zen, the “It would be better if you died” reference just means that you should meditate like you’re in your coffin, which is further embodied in the Zen phrase, “Dead men have no desire.” (As long as you have desire, Zen will keep its distance from you.)

I’ll be drawing your blood today alvin January 26, 2017 - 10:32pm

Hi, my name’s Ray. I’ll be drawing your blood today as soon as I finish this Capri Sun.

*misses hole 4 times then punches straw through bag*

(Reminds me of a few people who have drawn my blood.)

Scotch neat, please alvin January 26, 2017 - 10:25pm

Scotch neat, please.

Umm ... this is a Starbucks.


Okay ... a scotch “grande.”

Shop local alvin October 31, 2016 - 9:41am

Even on Halloween, remember to shop local. :)

You know what a juice diet cleans out of you? alvin October 31, 2016 - 9:35am

“A month ago I went on a juice cleanse. You know what it cleans out of you best? The will to live.”