Why are you here? (Talkeetna, Alaska)

When I first moved to Talkeetna, I sat down to sign the lease with my new landlord. The conversation went like this:

Her: So, why are you moving to Alaska ... hunter?

Me: No.

Fisherman?

No.

*pause*

Right-wing nut job?

No.

*pause*

You’re not here to write stories about the town for tv shows, like those Northern Exposure people, are you?

*she starts taking off her sweater*

Um ...

*which I eventually realize is so that she can breast-feed her baby while we’re talking*

... no.

So why are you here?