die

“A possible result could be catastrophic”

I was talking to a doctor yesterday about Pericarditis and he said that one possible result could be catastrophic. I was well aware of that possibility, but I thought it was an unusual word for a doctor to use.

That being said, it does sound more powerful than you could die. A lot of people say, “You could die doing <fill in the blank>,” so maybe that phrase has lost some power, where “catastrophic” isn’t used that often to talk about one’s health.

Tiger Eyes, by Judy Blume

I’m surprised that nobody I know knows the story Tiger Eyes, either the book by Judy Blume or the movie based on the book.

Probably the main theme of the book is about people who are afraid. Presumably they’re afraid of dying, and the result is that they’re afraid of living. Meanwhile, a teenage girl who has good reason to be afraid encounters these people who are afraid of life, and eventually realizes that a fear of life is no way to live. Despite a horrific thing that has happened in her recent past, she makes a conscious decision to live her life.

The real you is timeless and beyond birth and death

“The real does not die, the unreal never lived. Once you know that death happens to the body and not you, you just watch your body falling off like a discarded garment. The real you is timeless and beyond birth and death. The body will survive as long as it is needed. It is not important that it should live long.”

~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

Laugh at the night, the day, the moon ~ Pablo Neruda

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread,
air, light, spring,
but never your laughter,
for I would die.

~ Pablo Neruda

All is one, all is one

I am without form, without limit
Beyond space, beyond time
I am in everything, everything is in me
I am the bliss of the universe
Everywhere am I.

~ Ram Kir

A friend of mine was a devout yoga practitioner, and even studied under B.K.S. Iyengar. Right before she passed away, she began to cry tears of joy, and said, “All is one, all is one.”

Living another lifetime in a dream

I meditated last night until I started falling asleep. I kept trying to fight through the sleepiness, but it was to no avail.

I got up, went to bed, and almost immediately had one of those “You’re not Al, you’re somebody else” dream or dream-like experiences (like when Captain Picard went unconscious on the bridge and lived another life). After a long period of time I woke up in a bed with tears streaming down my cheeks because of what had just happened. (A friend died in my arms.) I sat up, looked around, but couldn’t figure out who or where I was. With my body/brain/mind rejecting the situation, I barfed into the trash can by the bedside. I was glad someone put that there.

After somewhere between thirty and ninety seconds I remembered who/where I am. With my body shaking as usual after one of these experiences, and not wanting to go back to sleep, I bundled up and went for a long, cold, after-midnight November walk. The clear sky was beautiful, and I was glad to be alive, even if I felt like crap. I made a note to myself that I need to take midnight walks more often, I appreciate the solitude.

~ November 12, 2015