Posts in the “funny” category

I first saw this Senility Prayer at my wife’s grandparents’ house many moons ago, and it still makes me smile.

I saw this “I think my guardian angel drinks” post on a friend’s Facebook page many years ago (2104), and it always makes me laugh. (Sorry, I don’t know the original source of this image.)

“Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.”

~ Mark Twain (used recently in reference to Antonio Brown on Twitter)

Leia: Help me Obi Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope.

Obi Wan: Sending thoughts and prayers.

(from this twitter page)

When I saw this on Twitter it reminded me of two sayings I believe in: “Deeds, not words,” and “Hope is not a plan.”

“So you’re a glass half-empty kind of guy?”

“Depends what’s in the glass.”

Me: Alexa, play 70s folk music.

*Alexa starts playing a James Taylor song*

Me: Alexa, never play songs by James Taylor.

Alexa: Shuffling James Taylor playlist, on Amazon Music.

This comic reminds me of the thousands of geese that have been migrating through the Boulder, Colorado area lately. From tundracomics.com.

Bi-polar bear, from Tundra Comics.

“You're the man now, dog!”

~ From the movie, Finding Forrester

A cow driving an old Volkswagen van, as seen in an ice cream shop somewhere on the Pearl Street Mall in Boulder, Colorado.

A bumper sticker seen in Alaska on July 5, 2010: “I don’t mind straight people as long as they act gay in public.”

I was reminded of this “If at first you don’t succeed, call it Version 1.0” saying this morning. You can find this t-shirt on Amazon if you’re interested.

The Onion “reports” that the Dalai Lama says that his next life will be his last one before he retires.

I don’t remember the original source of this, “Warning, coyote activity,” but we have a lot of coyotes in Colorado, so I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for dangerous coyote activity. ;)

From a recent email:

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.
 
1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
more ...

Mark Zuckerberg is now living out every young person’s worth nightmare: Trying to explain how tech stuff works to the nation’s elderly.

~ someone on twitter yesterday

I don’t know the original source of this “Please don’t move/observe the coffee machine” image, but I just saw it here on Twitter.

“Rip our your heart and throw it in the bin.” A funny tweet from BBCBigField.

I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov’s dog and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian said it rang a bell but she didn’t know if it was there or not.

~ nerd humor (from multiple sources)

I have this “Doorbell broken, yell ‘Ding dong’ really loud” doormat. My neighbors seem to enjoy it.