Posts in the “personal” category

Just a few months before he died, a nice man who worked at the local Walmart shared this story this morning while I was checking out:

“You know, I’ve been married 54 years.”

[long pause. you can tell he’s thinking about something.]

“One time, a long time ago, I was sitting on the couch, watching tv, and I could feel her staring at me. I mean I could just feel it. So I turned and looked at her and said, ‘What?’”

“She said, ‘You know what.’ I said, ‘No, I don’t.’ She just got up and walked away.”

“You know, to this day I still have no idea what I did.”

[long pause]

“I think sometimes in a relationship you just have to say, ‘I’m sorry,’ even if you don’t know exactly what you did or didn’t do.”

In the ancient Sanskrit language, the word “dakini” can be interpreted as a female embodiment of enlightenment, an outstanding female practitioner in yoga and meditation.

In Tibet, the word for dakini is “khadroma,” and it literally means “female sky-traveler.”

This is a good espn.com article about John Elway. This is my favorite quote regarding programming and running a business: “He based his approach to scouting on Jack’s golden rule: ‘Look for heart first.’”

Whenever I have a bad allergic reaction to something, I’m glad that my throat doesn’t close. It did that one time in Alaska before anyone knew anything about mast cell disease, and I was fortunate to survive that one. It’s a strange feeling to feel your neck/throat rapidly swelling and closing around your trachea. (I always keep at least one bottle of liquid Benadryl around for times like this.)

“I imagine that one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, that once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain.”

~ James Baldwin (via this gratefulness.org page)

As a note for any doctors or medical students/researchers out there, I had a pelvic MRI 72 hours after a coronary angiogram, and the MRI dramatically reduced my femoral artery pain. I don’t know if the MRI just helped with the symptoms, or did something that helped heal the wound, but the pain relief was significant. On the way into the MRI I was walking very slow, and on the way out I could walk at a normal pace. If anyone reads this, I hope that’s a helpful hint for someone else out there.

For more information on this, here’s my story of a possible heart attack, nuclear stress test, coronary angiogram, a pheochromocytoma, and an MRI.

In a related note, I found this bandage on the place where the doctors went in on my femoral artery.

These “You are sweeter than bee vomit” cards are one of my all-time favorites.

“Giving up hope is encouragement to stick with yourself, to make friends with yourself, to not run away from yourself, to return to the bare bones, no matter what’s going on. Fear of death is the background of the whole thing. It’s why we feel restless, why we panic, why there’s anxiety. But if we totally experience hopelessness, giving up all hope of alternatives to the present moment, we can have a joyful relationship with our lives, an honest, direct relationship, one that no longer ignores the reality of impermanence and death.”

~ from the Pema Chodron book, When Things Fall Apart

When watching the Limitless tv series, I always wondered what the CJC was. I knew it’s supposed to be some sort of FBI office in New York, but I thought they never explained what “CJC” stands for. Then today, when I had the fourth episode playing while I was doing dishes, I saw that CJC stands for Cross Jurisdictional Command, as shown in this image.

Update: After some more googling, I’ve read that the CJC is a fictional office, meaning that there really is no such thing as a CJC office in New York city. So, that case is solved. :)

(In slightly-related news, Limitless is also one of my favorite tv series that lasted only one season.)

I like these White Doe Prints, which I just found on Amazon back in 2016. Unfortunately Amazon won’t let me add the prints to my wish list, so I’m linking to them from here.

This is a nice photo of Zach Greinke’s changeup grip when he pitched for the Dodgers. I never did master the changeup before I hurt my arm, but in retrospect I wish I had learned how to throw it when I learned how to throw a curve. My ERA my junior season (before the injuries started) was 1.00, and I have no doubt it would have been 1/2 of that if I had known how to throw one. (I don’t remember where I got this image, but it was probably espn.com.)

There’s an important lesson here about (a) role models and (b) expanding your horizons that I need to write up at some point, but the short story is that Cubs pitchers at the time threw fastballs, curves, and splitters, so as a teenager that’s what I threw.

I went to a local coffee shop and a talkative man behind the counter asked what I do for work. I told him I’m currently writing three books on computer programming, one young adult novel, and a mindfulness app for iOS and Android, in addition to running this website. When you say it out loud it sounds a little crazy, but in the midst of it it’s not a problem, I like bouncing between the projects.

Happy Halloween, 2019, from some folks at Texas A&M University (one of four colleges I spent time at).

(Image from this TAMU LinkedIn page.)

The Dalai Lama offers advice on how to start your mornings:

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”

I can especially dig the, “today I am fortunate to be alive” part.

One year for Christmas I got a bunch of cookies and a car charger for my phone. It was a good Christmas. :)

I was going to write more about this, but instead I’ll just share this link to RamDass.org related to a soldier asking him, “What are you, some kind of yogurt?”

Amelia: How do you feel about me now?

Nick: I fell in love with you the first time I saw you — that’s crazy. I didn’t even know you, it was just this idea of you. And then ... it just wasn’t what I thought.

[Then he says something about the way she kisses, and she slaps him.]

Amelia: Hey. I’m not an idea of a person. I’m an actual person.

[She walks away.]

~ from New Girl

Having lived with many great dogs (and a couple of cats), I just orded this book by Eckhart Tolle. The few pages I can see on the Amazon preview look great. It looks to be more about “mindfulness” and “spirituality” than “religion,” which suits me well. I’m looking forward to it.

The bad news is that I have the flu. The good news is that I’ve watched the first 25 episodes of New Girl (though I wasn’t conscious for all of them, and I’m not sure what happened to Coach).

I haven’t binge-watched anything like this since I had a bad infection after having my gallbladder removed.

I always wondered what was going on in the song, “MacArthur Park.” When I was very young I remember Donna Summer singing it, and I used to think, “Just make another cake. Why won’t you have that recipe again? Shoot, just buy a cake if cooking makes you that upset.”

Jimmy Webb discusses the lyrics to the song on newsday.com.