Posts in the “personal” category

Today’s song of the day is Sinner’s Prayer, by Godsmack’s Sully Erna.

“They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way. For this reason above all, their capacity for good, I have sent them you, my only son.”

~ Jor-El, the first Superman movie

Doctor: This isn’t the type of cancer where we tell you to go fishing.

Me: Phew, that’s great to hear, because I really don’t like fishing.

Here are some of the lyrics from one last Sully Erna song today, this one named Seven Years:

If there was no tomorrow
Would you still remain the same?
Or live your life so shallow
And take it for granted everyday?

So take away tomorrow
And tell me again why we blame
Why we waste all our time
When time may not wait another day

So again, years go by
So many tears I cried

Now that we’re through
I’ll still honor you
And harmlessly swallow my pride

It’s time to fall away
It’s time to separate
And maybe we’ll be alright
Seven years gone by

For seven years
I’ve tried to make it
But how long can I take it
It’s time to fly
Seven years gone by

If there was no tomorrow
Would you still retain all your hate?
Or live your life with no one to spite
And free your spirit again

Here’s another beautiful “unplugged” song from Sully Erna, this one is named My Light. A few lyrics:

You always bring me light
And you help me find my way
A gentle kiss goodnight
Is the innocence I crave

Here I am
Humbled and amazed
This beautiful little miracle of life
Was gifted to me

And here I am
I never thought I’d say
If ever I could live my life again
I’d live it your way

You’ve always brought me life
And you’ve helped me find my way
A simple kiss goodnight
Is the innocence I crave

Under the light you shine on me
I promise I will be there for you baby
I’d never wanna leave you anyway
You’ve become my light

I cross my heart that’s in your hands
With hope that you will always be my best friend
I promise I will be there ’til the end
You’ve become my light

Under the light you shine on me
I promise I will be there for you baby
I’d never wanna leave you anyway
You’ve become my light

I cross my heart that’s in your hands
With hope that you will always be my best friend
I promise I will be there ’til the end
You’ve become my light

You’ve become my light
You’ve become my light ...

I’m a fan of many Godsmack songs, and this is their lead singer, Sully Erna, playing piano and singing a beautiful song named Until Then. (With Irina Chirkova playing the cello.) A few lyrics:

Lie
Awake
Watching you run through my head
I’m alone again, but not for long my friend

We face another day
And distance has come and taken you far away again
But I’ll see you soon my friend
And then I’ll sing you my song

I can’t go home alone again
No I can’t
My friend
Until then

Eyes, I recognize
Taking me back
Familiar to me from some other time
Or maybe another life

Remember our times, and know who I am
The memory stays, until we can breathe as one again
And I’m coming back my friend
And then I’ll sing you my song

And I can’t go home alone again
No I can’t go home all alone again
No I can’t go home all alone again
No I can’t
My friend
Until then

“Every wall is a door.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson (also, the Kool-Aid Man)

The name Homer on The OA reminded me that my uncle was named Elmer, but we knew him as Uncle Mousey. He was a famous jazz drummer, and he called everyone Cat or Cool Cat. When he visited, my dad made him smoke his special, hand-rolled cigarettes outside (and often joined him). Here’s a short video of him on the drums with some other cool cats. :)

(Men in the Alexander clan don’t live long. He passed away at 66, my dad died younger than that, and their other brother — who was a favorite cool cat — died in his 40s. I assume complications related to mast cell disease was involved in there.)

“Intelligence is something we are born with. Thinking is a skill that must be learned.”

~ Edward de Bono

Hey, waitress, pour me another cup of coffee,
Pop it down, jack me up, shoot me out, flyin’ down the highway,
Lookin’ for the mornin’ ...

~ Drivin’ My Life Away, Eddie Rabbitt

One thing about being named Alvin Alexander is that I’ve been called Al, Alvin, Alex, and Alexander by various people lately. I don’t mind any of them, but I laugh at Alex because I used that as a fake name when I traveled to Alaska in 2007 and 2010. (I was also known as Ken in Alaska.)

One thing about specifically being named Alvin is that when people are happy with me they call me Al, and when they’re unhappy they tend to yell, “Alvin!” I don’t know if that’s just a chipmunk thing or if everyone with a multi-syllable first name goes through it, but I’ve noticed that as well.

“We should think and feel over and over: ‘May the suffering that this being and many others are experiencing cease, along with its causes. I will do everything I can to free them from this pain.’”

That’s from this tweet by Tulku Thondup.

I have to be honest, I can’t feel this for my loud downstairs neighbor here at the Terracina apartments. The only nice thing I can currently pray for is for him to move. I’m trying to work on that, but when someone plays their music so loud that your floor vibrates and your kitchen range rattles, it’s hard to think about his suffering and pain. (Just being honest about how I feel today.)

I just started watching A Little Bit of Heaven, and of course the correct answer for Wish #3 is that you want to feel love.

I edited Chapter 6 of my new book whilst listening to Moon Baby by Godsmack. I’m not sure I can be held responsible for whatever ended up in that chapter. :)

A couple of things happened recently that make me feel like a piece of meat in the organ grinder of life. First, I was in talks with a publisher about publishing a book with them, and their contract began, “You grant to Us ... the exclusive right to ... sell and otherwise commercially exploit your Work.” I thought, “Well, I guess that’s what work is about, organizations exploiting your work for their commercial profit,” but their writing felt dirty and sleazy, like it was totally controlled by a scumbag lawyer or CEO.

Next, I live in the Terracina apartments in Broomfield, Colorado, and they were recently bought by a new company. With the old company everything here felt like a family, but when the new company bought the place they fired the previous staff, and with most of the new staff it feels like I’m just a number. When I walk in the office the reception feels like, “Number 232 ... you always complain that your kitchen range is vibrating because your downstair’s music is so loud, what do you want? We’re trying to make a lot of money here and you’re a troublemaker.” Twice the office manager has barely looked away from her computer monitor while talking to me.

Both situations remind me of the Bon Seger song, Feel Like a Number.

As seen in Santa Fe, New Mexico, in 2017.

“I just want something beautiful, Mo.”

“We all want something beautiful, Willie.”

This land today, shall draw its last breath
And take into its ancient depths
This frail reminder of its giant, dreaming self
While I, with human-hindered eyes
Unequal to the sweeping curve of life
Stand on this single print of time.

This land, today, my tears shall taste
And take into its dark embrace
This love, who in my beating heart endures
Assured, by every sun that burns
The dust to which this flesh shall return
It is the ancient, dreaming dust of God.

~ Human Wheels, John Mellencamp

When working from home, my preferred writing environment is to use a huge fixed-width font on a large monitor with a matte finish, and nothing else on the screen. I write my text using either Markdown or LaTeX, depending on what the output format is going to be. And Yoda and Meditating Guy make me feel a little less crazy when I’m talking to myself. ;)

“I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray.”

~ Prince Rogers Nelson