sleep

The Girl Next Door

(Back in 2015 & 2016 when I was especially sick with the mast cell disease — before anyone knew what mast cell disease was — I wrote the following incomplete, fictional story titled, “The Girl Next Door.” I’ll finish it if/when I can.)

“Here we are, come in,” I say to my two police escorts as I open the door and welcome them in. “Home, sweet home.”

Before they even get past the front door the young, hyperactive cop blurts out, “Okay, where is she?”

Huh, not much warm and fuzzy “welcome to my humble abode” time, I think to myself. “That’s where it gets a little tricky,” I say.

“What do you mean? Is she here, or isn’t she? If you lied about her, you’re going to be in for a world of hurt.”

“I didn’t lie, she is here,” I said, “uh ... just not in the way you think.”

“Do tell,” said the older policeman as he fingered some books on my bookshelf, looking around, studying everything. Those were the first words he said since we left the police station.

I paused. This is the part where nobody ever believes me, so I’ve found that it’s generally best not to talk about this at all. But when two policemen have you in handcuffs, my decision is more like, do I tell them fast — just blurt it out, or do I find some way to tell them about it slowly? I decide to try to explain it.

“Okay, here’s the deal,” I say, searching for my next words. I walk over to my dining room window and point with my cuffed hands. “Technically, she’s right over there.”

The young, hyper cop comes over and looks out the window. He sees that I’m pointing at a walkway between two buildings. He quickly turns and looks at me. “What kind of game are you playing?,” he asks, seemingly about ready to punch or strangle me.

“No game, sir. This is the thing: Have you ever read about parallel universes?”

“What the ...”

Why is my MacBook warm when the lid is closed (in sleep mode)?

When I woke up last night it was a little windy outside, so I decided to unplug my MacBook Pro because the power tends to flicker here. When I picked up the MacBook I noticed that it was very warm, even though the lid was closed and it was in sleep mode. This morning I decided to dig into the “Why is my MacBook hot even though the lid is closed and it’s in sleep mode” question.

Traveling to an old cathedral for training (a lucid dream)

Dream notes from June 27, 2017: As I feel asleep I was ripped out of my sleep body by some sort of lucid dream tractor beam, then pulled backwards through space. Eventually I came to um ... “somewhere” ... and when I turned my head to see where I was, I found I was being pulled towards a very large, old cathedral. The tractor beam continued to pull me butt-first, right through the closed front doors of the cathedral. Why open a door when you can go through it?

Inside, the tractor beam dropped me off at a spot near some stairs. Somehow I knew what I was supposed to do — this wasn’t punishment, it was a good thing — and I went with a group of other people up the stairs. I saw a few familiar faces and either said “Hey, how have you been?” to them, or nodded to acknowledge others who were farther away.

Walking up the stairs, a woman started talking to me. Most of it was in English, and then some words were in another language. I tried to tell her that the Universal Translator apparently wasn’t translating what she was saying, but to no avail. I remember that two words she said were, “sonó toma,” which Google translates in Spanish as “sleep takes.”

We all filed into a room where I saw a few more familiar faces. We sat in chairs like we were in college again, or more like we were attending a seminar. I thought that was funny, “A seminar for sleep travelers.” I hoped the speaker would be good. Or maybe it would be a series of TED talks for lucid dreamers. Those thoughts made me wonder who organized the event.

I won’t share the rest of what happened, but hopefully I’ll see you at the cathedral one day. :)

“In a world full of people, only some want to fly, isn’t that crazy?” ~ Seal

Laying in bed until whenever

After a long work day yesterday I decided to sleep in today until whenever. After I almost got enough rest I found myself sleeping in my bed in the house I grew up in. The bed was against an outer bedroom wall, where I had it when I was a young teenager. (I would later move it to an inner wall.) Then a former friend came in the room and told me I was being lazy and I should get up and yada yada yada. I beamed her right out of there.

Then a young, healthy version of Zeus came in and stood next to the bed. I thought about asking him if he had to go out, but he jumped up on the bed and laid down next to me. That sure wasn’t going to make me want to get out of bed.

A Scala method to run any block of code slowly

The book, Advanced Scala with Cats, has a nice little function you can use to run a block of code “slowly”:

def slowly[A](body: => A) = try body finally Thread.sleep(100)

I’d never seen a try/finally block written like that (without a catch clause), so it was something new for the brain.

In the book they run a factorial method slowly, like this:

slowly(factorial(n - 1).map(_ * n))

FWIW, you can modify slowly to pass in the length of time to sleep, like this:

def slowly[A](body: => A, sleepTime: Long) = try body finally Thread.sleep(sleepTime)