personal

personal

After five weeks I can sit down again

While many people will remember January 26, 2020, as the day Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter accident, I’ll also remember it as the first day I was able to sit down in five weeks following the Angiogram procedure. I still couldn’t sit long, maybe ninety minutes total before the pain kicked in, but that alone was nice.

When I punched the accelerator things started to get weird

If you like dream stories, here you go ... this one is from January 25, 2019.

A dream sequence started this morning with me trying to follow some other people in a vehicle. I wasn’t lucid at this point, and all I remember is that we were trying to go somewhere for dinner. The people I was following had gotten way ahead of me so I decided that I needed to go very fast, and when I punched the accelerator things started to get weird.

There was a major “whoosh” of something ... time, space, whatever, so I decided I better come to a stop. When I did I looked around, and saw that I was in an area that was full of modern restaurants, one even looked a little like a Dunkin’ Donuts. But the problem was, the names of the restaurants weren’t in English. I had no idea what the language was, but it looked like something I had never seen before. Only half awake and 100% lost, for some reason it seemed like a good idea to hit the accelerator.

Once again there was a major whoosh of timespace/spacetime, and I thought I better stop and try to figure out where I was. The first thing I noticed was that my vehicle had transformed, and was now like a shuttle that you’d see on Star Trek, mostly metallic, with a lot of gauges to look at inside, and large, rectangular glass windows so I could see outside. When I looked outside all I saw was a large open range, with a few hills or very small mountains in the distance to the right. It reminded me of rural New Mexico, but it was dark outside so I couldn’t see any more details.

The top five regrets of the dying

The top five regrets of the dying:

1) I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
2) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
3) I wish I had let myself be happier
4) I wish I had the courage to express my true self
5) I wish I’d lived a life true to my dreams instead of what others expected of me

The Soul Game

[This is a chapter from a currently-unpublished book I’m writing on meditation and mindfulness.]

As a spiritual being, one possible way to think of life here on Earth is as a “game” that serves as a training ground for the soul. It’s a game like other games, so it has many levels, and they get harder and harder as you progress. So in this case, the better you become at the game of spirituality — the Soul Game — the harder the levels become.

To help set some rules for the game, let’s say that it has fifty levels. The first time you play the game you’re born here on Earth in Level 1. Hopefully you score some points and move up, so maybe by the time it’s “game over” for your first lifetime, you’ve passed Level 9 and you’re playing on Level 10. Maybe you get a brief break in between lifetimes, but the next time you’re born you start right where you left off, at Level 10.

This brings me to a very important rule: Once you start playing the Soul Game, you’re strapped in for eternity. (That was clearly mentioned on page 52 of the End User License Agreement.) Once you’re in the game there are only two ways out:

Yay, I can sit down again

January 22, 2020: Good news, today is the first day I have been able to sit down without pain since December 23 of last year. For whatever reason it has taken the Angio-Seal in my leg this long to heal. But yesterday and today were the first days I have been almost 100% pain-free while standing, and so far I’ve been able to sit down for a little while, which is a very nice feeling. :)

Do not fall in love with people like me

“Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”

~ Caitlyn Siehl